High school conversations

(NOT happened to me)

Jon: Hi. (I'm indicating that I want to initiate conversation with you.)
Girl: Hey. (I acknowledge your greeting and am expressing interest in conversing with you.)
Jon: My name's Jonathan. (I will now give you something to call me.)
Girl: I'm [insert her name here]. (I might as well tell you my name, too.)
Jon: So, about the lab . . . blah blah blah (I'm trying to make it look as though I'm interested in small talk. Aren't I witty?)
Girl: Yeah, I totally agree about the lab. Blah blah blah. (Yay, smalltalk. At least you're funny. Is this going anywhere?)
Jon: My car is over there. (I'm indicating that the conversation must end soon.)
Girl: Alright. (Okay, where is it? It's coming, it's coming . . .)
Jon: I was wondering if you wanted to get some coffee with me later tonight. (I totally want to jump your bones.)
Girl: Sure. How's eight o' clock sound? (I knew it. You're looking for sex. Well, you're kinda cute.)
Jon: Great. (Oh god I'm so fucking relieved. Most girls don't give me the time of day.)
Girl: See you then. (You'd better show up, because if you don't, you aren't getting any pussy.)
Jon: Bye. (I'm gonna go jerk off now.)

Thanks to mr. -Triple-

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